mcavoys

"After wrapping Guardians of the Galaxy I was very homesick and I was coming home to my wife and my son, who at the time was 13 months old. My wife told me ‘Hey, listen there’s a chance he may not recognize you and he may be a little shy’ and so I came in there, and he just sat right up and had this big smile on his face. He started saying ‘Daddy, daddy, daddy!’ and I just started to cry. He saw the tears in my eyes and started doing bits to make me laugh and that just made me cry more."

- Chris Pratt on the best day of his life.

jakeeatworld
jakeeatworld:

marzuku:

northclackitback:


Massive sinkhole swallows house in Florida

Florida is hell, like look at this shit. Black people cant walk down the street, there are giant alligators and shit in ya swimming pool just waiting to snap your shit up, Mentally disturbed people walking around biting peoples faces off. The Miami Heat, There are bugs the size of house cats, Its 90 degrees in the winter and in the summer its 100 but feel like the underside of a 400 pound mans ballsack outside. The bitch gets hit by hurricanes at least once a year. Did I mention people let their exotic pets go and now there are 15-20 foot pythons just slithering all over the state? or the fact that there are herpes infected monkeys running around too? And now this, even the earth doesnt want you in Florida so do yourself a favor and never go there.

I can confirm this all to be true. I would leave but I can’t. When I get to the state line an invisible force field repels my attempts at escape as a giant hologram head of Rick Scott looms over me cackling maniacally. I will die here.

Florida is Night-Vale.

jakeeatworld:

marzuku:

northclackitback:

Massive sinkhole swallows house in Florida

Florida is hell, like look at this shit. Black people cant walk down the street, there are giant alligators and shit in ya swimming pool just waiting to snap your shit up, Mentally disturbed people walking around biting peoples faces off. The Miami Heat, There are bugs the size of house cats, Its 90 degrees in the winter and in the summer its 100 but feel like the underside of a 400 pound mans ballsack outside. The bitch gets hit by hurricanes at least once a year. Did I mention people let their exotic pets go and now there are 15-20 foot pythons just slithering all over the state? or the fact that there are herpes infected monkeys running around too? And now this, even the earth doesnt want you in Florida so do yourself a favor and never go there.

I can confirm this all to be true. I would leave but I can’t. When I get to the state line an invisible force field repels my attempts at escape as a giant hologram head of Rick Scott looms over me cackling maniacally. I will die here.

Florida is Night-Vale.

dorkvader

People always make Juliet out to be dumb in Romeo and Juliet, but I think she at least had some sense where Romeo didn't have much of any

  • Romeo: I was thinking about this chick earlier who I said I was in love with but now I love that girl over there that is very likely to either belong to my family's enemy or be close with my family's enemy as it is their party I am crashing
  • Juliet: I do not like being so young and forced into a relationship with an older man, but oh there's a cute guy more my age over there. And since he's here he must have been invited and is there for a reasonable love match for myself
  • --
  • Romeo: We should kiss right now at this party
  • Juliet: No that is a super dumb idea
  • Romeo: *kisses her anyway*
  • Juliet: That was dumb of you
  • --
  • Romeo: We should get married right now
  • Juliet: We don't know each other. Shouldn't we wait until at least a little time has passed?
  • Romeo: Like tomorrow?
  • Juliet: Sure, fine.
  • --
  • Juliet: We're married now, so we have to try and make things better between our families.
  • Romeo: Right.
  • Romeo: It seems I have killed your cousin and am now exiled.
  • --
  • Juliet: Ok so since Romeo fucked up I'm gonna fix this shit by taking a harmless sleeping liquid. He'll come and get me and we can go away together.
  • Romeo: *immediately kills himself*
  • Juliet: For fucks sake.
geothebio

markruffalo:

aos-skimmons:

so I was thinking that mark ruffalo sounds a lot like mark buffalo, and then i decided that i obviously wasn’t going to be the only one who thought about this. so i typed ‘ruffalo the buffalo’ into google images and i found these…

image

image

image

i don’t know why but it made me happy 

I don’t know why but it makes me happy too.